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(MIKE stoops over to carefully pick up the flowers. Between picking up the flowers one by one he says)

MIKE: Sorry…….but…….. To tell you… The truth….Julie,

(Long pause)

with Rita……. I don’t need Viagra!

JULIE (waving the lamp, screeches): Get out you bastard! Get out!…

MIKE (sadly, like a tragic actor): Now I see, you’ll never guess, why we separated… All our relations could be different, if…

(Pause)

JULIE (excited): If? What if?

MIKE: If you were a little bit… a little bit curious… Good bye, Julie!

(Mike exits. Julie slumps down on the sofa, but jumps up)

JULIE (runs to the door and shouts): Mike! Mike! Wait… I changed my mind! Come back!

THE END

RUSSIAN MASTER CLASS

CAST:

OLGA LEONARDOVNA KNIPPER

CHEKHOVA (KNIPPER)– Chekhov’s wife 85 years old.

ANNA – student of the Moscow Theatrical studio.

Scene:

The year is 1954. A dressing room in the theater. Knipper is restlessly sitting in an armchair waiting for her “Master Class” student. She suddenly stands, goes to a nearby coat rack, and casually starts to inspect each coat. Finding one to her satisfaction she nostalgically tries it on. There is a knock at the door. She quickly lays the coat aside.

KNIPPER: Come in.

(Anna opens the door; she enters trying to appear confident)

ANNA: Olga Leonardova, I’m sorry… I’m late…

KNIPPER: (pausing to make Anna more uncomfortable): Good day Anna. What is the matter? You always have come right on time… but today… I know it’s snowing hard…

ANNA: I’m sorry… I couldn’t…

KNIPPER: Our tea is ready… Let us relax a bit!

(Olga gets a tray with tea pot, three teaspoons, two small plates, cups, saucers and a jar of jam….pours their tea… Anna settles down… they take jam and sip… their eyes meet:)

ANNA: Olga Leonardovna, I have good news! Our Theater School will do, Anton Pavlovich Chekhov’s “The Cherry Orchard” as our final exam.

KNIPPER: Grand! Have you auditioned for a part yet?

ANNA: The director, Vadim, asked me to play the heroine Ranevskaia.

KNIPPER: Ah!… Here’s your chance…

ANNA: You have played Ranevskaia so many times…

KNIPPER: Yes! I’ve played Ranevskaia my whole life… almost until I was 80 years old… Have you learned the part?

ANNA: Yes… by heart.

KNIPPER: That’s a start… Describe Ranevskaia,s character, please.

ANNA: She… is light headed.

KNIPPER: In your view… and?

A NNA: She loves… life.

KNIPPER: Maybe…

ANNA: Flighty and fickle…

KNIPPER: In what sense “fickle”?

ANNA: In sex… she is an elderly woman who wants everybody to love her.

KNIPPER: Just what age do you think she is?

ANNA: Fifty-five I suppose.

KNIPPER: My dear, this is “elderly”? I’m 85 and I still want everybody to swoon over me.

ANNA: I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you…

KNIPPER (offended): I’m not offended. Anton wrote me that Ranevskayia is not hard to play… You only need to smile in your soul and move graciously…(Pause) Here… put on this coat, and walk as Ranevskaia’s entrance… This is the grandest, most elegant female entrance of any Chekhov heroine…

(Anna slips into the coat, and walks)