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Людмила Ансельм

JULIE: Ok! OK!… OK! Men are a good new market, I suppose.

MIKE: Ya! Then on the street… The guy buys a big bouquet of flowers… and walks along singing a jaunty tune. Like a hit from the sixties.…

(Mike sings something from the Beatles: “I need you, I need you, I need you…” and walks smartly around smiling. He then abruptly sits down but closer yet to Julie and continues gaily)….

MIKE: Next: we see him going to his girl friend, and giving her the flowers.… He chats and has to go to the bathroom. In her bathroom he looks in her medicine cabinet, lots of laughs here… and uses her tooth brush… lots of laughs… and picks out a branded tooth paste. He then takes her glass and fills it with water, and swallows the Viagra.

(Julie with suspicious look, moves quite far away)

JULIE: Uh…Huh… go on…

MIKE: Some more chatter… Then they sit on the sofa and watch TV…

JULIE: And then?

MIKE: He has to talk her up for awhile…

JULIE: I suppose we see the man jumping on the girl…

MIKE: No! No, not yet. Viagra takes 10 to 20 minutes to take effect…

JULIE: You actually put on a branded condom and have sex?

MIKE: Nah! We see only the guy putting one leg on the woman. The next scene shows him turning off the lights. And then the TV goes black…

(Pause)

End of the fourth segment!

JULIE: When do you start shooting this scene?

MIKE: Next week. I had some rehearsals, but I’ve never taken Viagra…

JULIE (with steely calm): How could you rehearse, if you never take Viagra?

MIKE: And you?

JULIE: Of course not! I’m a woman.

MIKE (more and more excited): Julia, women are trying Viagra too… For some it seems to work. For others not…

JULIE: I don’t need to take Viagra…

MIKE: But…sex is good for health both men and women…

JULIE: Now, I don’t need sex. I seem to have lost interest…

MIKE: Exactly!!! And you have to know Viagra improves social communication!

JULIE (ironically): Communication!!…

MIKE (blithely continues): Maybe you would like to try Viagra some time… I have an extra. You can try it.

(Mike holds out a pill. Julie, hesitates then curiously takes it)

JULIE (looking at the pill): You’re stark raving mad!

MIKE: Aren’t you interested in how Viagra acts on you? You’re not curious?

JULIE (handing pill back): No!… Curiosity killed the cat…

MIKE: (coaxing): Are you afraid? Take a half then…

JULIE (standing): No!… Never!

MIKE: Julie, don’t be rash!… I ask one last time…

(Mike suddenly stands and tries to hug Julie)

JULIE (picks up heavy bronze: table lamp and pushing him away with the bronze lamp at the ready): Away!

MIKE (joyfully): It’s already working! I’m starting to feel warm…

(He glances at his watch)

Just 10 minutes! It’s normal!

(Pause)

JULIE (angrily waving the lamp at Mike); Now, I know why you came to me! You want to rehearse with me and Viagra! Bastard!

MIKE: Julia, I feel sorry for you… You’re not right…

(Julie slaps Mike on the face. Mike pulls away)

JULIE (shouts throwing the flowers at Mike): Get out! Do your rehearsals with your bitch, Rita!