Читать «Короткие пьесы» онлайн - страница 128

OLGA: No, no way. I don’t understand English anyhow.

IRINA: I didn’t finish my conversation because of you; he understood this, hung up the receiver.

OLGA: Why were you yelling?

IRINA: None of your business, I don’t know what to do. I was so eager to get to know him better…

MASHA: Leave it alone! He hung up because he understood that you’re against…

IRINA: Against what?

MASHA: Against sex.

IRINA: What sex?

MASHA: Sex on the phone.

OLGA: What is this?

MASHA: The phone sex is like this: when you speak on the phone, you’re having sex at the same time… Both pleasant and safe and excites the other person too.

OLGA: Girls, I hear this for the first time. As far as I know we didn’t have this kind of sex in Moscow…

MASHA: At home telephones can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Only big bosses had them and one – at the post-office.

OLGA: Well, I never! Just think what they’ve made up.

IRINA: He didn’t say anything about this. How can you prove this?

MASHA: He didn’t really say, but hinted at it. He said to you: Now I’m lying on the bed, I have taken a shower…

IRINA: Yes, I heard.

MASHA: Well, that’s it. What more proof do you need?

IRINA: And still it doesn’t mean anything.

MASHA: A friend here, knowing that I was looking for a husband warned me against telephone sex. Such things happen here.

IRINA: I can’t believe this.

MASHA: Why did you yell at him?

IRINA: He asked me what I wear at night, and then began explain me what he calls different places…

OLGA: What places?

IRINA: The body places for sex. I began yelling. And he said: Why are you yelling, I only want to help you.

MASHA: Well, what should I say?

OLGA: Girls, it turns out that in America each person has his own kind sex!

MASHA: Well, this is too much…

OLGA: We can’t play the game not knowing the language.

IRINA: He was probably my last opportunity…now I just don’t know what to do…

MASHA: But I’ve made up my mind. (Picks up the receiver.)

OLGA: To have sex on the telephone?

MASHA: Watch your mouth! I’ll order a telephone call and speak to my dear husband.

OLGA: What for?

MASHA: To know how he is…

IRINA: Do you want to forgive him?

MASHA: I’ve looked enough at our problems… If he is so eager to come here let him come.

OLGA: Tell him to bring your fur coat!

IRINA: And your hat, and tights…

MASHA (pause): No! I need nothing! Let him come by himself… And then we shall see.

THE END