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WTF did you just read? It did not make any sense! Now let’s see if punctuating helps: Yeah, I don’t really use anything because I am lazy and always in a hurry to fnish writing. I understand that punctuation is important; but, fuck it, anybody ain’t got time for this shit! I would like some help though. I feel like I can really take my writing to the next level with this. Someone please help me!

Tis little paragraph is not the most amazing academic writing in the world, but it gets the job done. Let’s look at some English punctuation rules real quick:

• Te period, full stop or point “.”

Tis shit is easy. You break up the sentences using “.” at the end of a logical and complete thought. • Te comma “,”

You use it to separate phrases, words, or clauses in lists. Tink of them as being helpful in organizing thoughts or logical groups.

1. A series of independent clauses (sentences):

I like your girlfriend, I might invite both of you to dinner, but don’t tell her yet. 2. A series on nouns:

I ate pizza, soup, chicken, ice-cream, and cookies.

3. A series of adjectives:

Tis one is tricky. Te list of adjectives does require commas, unless an adjective is modifying another adjective.

He is young, handsome, and talented.

Mom is wearing dark blue pants (no comma).

4. A series of verbs:

She screamed, ran, fell, and cried.

5. Enclosing details:

My friend Alex, who really likes pizza, ate three in one sitting.

6. Participial Phrases:

Hearing these words, John knew he had to do something.

7. Tag Questions:

He likes me, doesn’t he?

8. Interjections:

Wait, I don’t understand.

• Te Semicolon “;”

Tis one is somewhere between a comma and a full stop. Semicolons can be used to join phrases and sentences that can be logically and thematically linked.

I like this car; you’re such an expert.

I’ll take the blame this time; she’s had enough already.

• Quotation Marks “ “

Easy. You use them to cite something someone said exactly. So you know what to do when you wanna gossip or complain about something someone said once lol “She is so stupid,” she said.

And then she told me, “Oh my god, look at her.”

If you’re trying to be super fancy and quote someone within a quote (Inception, bitches) then you would use single and double quotation marks to set the two separate quotations of from each other. ‘I don’t know,’ Jef said. ‘When I spoke to him he said, “I will be there at 7”, but he’s not here’.

CHAPTER TWO

GOING BACK

Past Tenses

It’s your frst day back in school afer summer, what’s the frst thing you wanna do? Exactly, you wanna share your incredible summer adventures with everyone. Tis is exactly what this chapter is gonna teach you to do. How do we talk about the past and share the most profound memories with our friends and families? How do you tell interesting stories? You wanna know? Well, this chapter is gonna help you learn. Hopefully, by the end of week two you will no longer be confused about all past tenses and the proper usage of those. Let’s get it!