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SPANK THE WANK

SPANKING THE MONKEY

SPUNK

SQUEEZE THE CHEESE (не путать с CUT THE CHEESE)

STRANGLE THE SERPENT

STRANGLE YODA (аллюзия со Звёздными Войнами)

STROKE IT

STROKE THE BLOKE

STROKE THE DOG

STROKE YOUR POKER

STRUM THE OL’ BANJO

SUMMON THE GENIE

TAKE A NAP

TAKE A SHAKE BREAK

TAKE HERMAN TO THE CIRCUS

TAKE THE MONSTER FOR A ONE-ARMED RIDE

TAME THE BEEF WEASEL

TAME THE SHREW

TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO FLY

TEASE THE PYTHON

TEASE THE WEASEL

TEST THE TESTICLES

TEST YOUR BATTERIES

THUMP THE PUMP

TICKLE THE IVORY

TICKLE THE PICKLE

TICKLE YOUR FANCY

TORQUE THE FORK

TORTURE THE TENTACLE

TOSS IT

TOSS THE SALAD

TRANSFER DATA

TUG THE SLUG

TUG YOUR TAPIOCA TUBE

TUG YOUR TUBE SNAKE

TUG YOUR TUBE STEAK

TWANG YOUR WIRE

TWEAK YOUR TWINKIE

TWIST YOUR TOOL

UNSTABLE THE STALLION

UPGRADE YOUR HARDWARE

VARNISH YOUR POLE

WALK THE DOG

WALK THE PLANK (пираты Стивенсона ходили по доске как-то по другому)

WALTZ WITH WILLY

WANKER THE ANCHOR

WANKING THE WILLIE

WASTING BABIES

WAX THE DOLPHIN

WAX YOUR WILLY

WAXING THE CARROT

WAXING THE WEEZER

WHIP THE BOLOGNA PONY

WHIP THE DRIPPER

WHIPPIN’ UP ON SKIPPY (NOT THE BUSH, BUT KANGAROO!!!)

WHITE-WATER WRISTING

WINDSURF ON MOUNT BALDY

WORK A CRAMP OUT OF YOUR MUSCLE

WRESTLE THE EEL

WRESTLE WITH YOUR EMOTIONS

WRIST AEROBICS

YANK THE PLANK

THE GIRL IS MASTURBATING

A NIGHT WITH THE GIRLS

AIR THE ORCHID

BASTE THE TUNA

BEAT THE BEAVER

BEAT THE BUSH

BEATING AROUND THE BUSH

BRUSH THE BEAVER

BUFF THE BEAVER

BURY THE KNUCKLE

BUTTER THE BEAD

BUTTER THE MUFFIN

BUTTER THE POTATO

BUZZ

CARESS THE KITTY

CHECK THE FOXHOLE

CHECK YOUR OIL

CIRCLE THE KNOLL

CLAP WITH ONE HAND

CLEAN YOUR FINGERS

CLEANING THE CARPET

CREAM THE PIE

CUNT CUDDLING

DIG FOR YOUR KEYS

DIGITAL MANIPULATION

DIGITIZE

DO YOUR NAILS

DOUSE THE DIGITS

DROWN THE MAN IN THE BOAT

DUNK THE BEAVER

DUST THE END TABLE

ERASE THE PROBLEM

EXPLORE THE DEEP SOUTH

FAN THE FUR

FAN THE FURNACE

FEED THE BEARDED CLAM

FEED THE FISH

FINGER BLAST

FINGER DANCE

FINGER FUN

FINGER PAINT

FLICK THE BEAN

FLICK THE SWITCH

FLIP THE FLAPS

FLIP THROUGH THE PAGES

FLIT YOUR CLIT

FLOSS THE CAT

FLY AUTOMATIC (используя вибратор)

FLY MANUALLY

GET A DATE WITH SLICK MITTENS

GET A FAT LIP

GET A LUBE JOB

GET A STAIN OUT OF YOUR CARPET

GET TO KNOW YOURSELF

GLEAMING THE TUBE

GO MINING

GOING TO WORK WITHOUT A STAFF

GRAB THE GOATEE

GREASE THE SKILLET

GREASE YOUR HIPS

GROPE THE GROTTO

ITCH THE DITCH

JUICE IT UP

JUMP START THE RIVER

LEGLOCK THE PILLOW

LET YOUR FINGERS DO THE WALKING

LUBE YOUR GOOB

MAKE BUMPS

MAKE BUTTER

MAKE SOUP

MAKE THE KITTY PURR

MAKE WAVES

MAN OVERBOARD

MANUAL OVERRIDE

MISTRESSBATE

NULL THE VOID

ONE-WOMAN SHOW

PADDLE THE PINK CANOE

PART THE PETALS

PERFORM FOR MR. SWAGGART (телеевангелист, который платил девицам лёгкого поведения за то, что они проделывали это перед ним)

PET SNOOPY

PET THE BUNNY

PET THE PUSSY

PITCH IN THE BUSH LEAGUE

PLAY FIDDLE

PLAY PIANO

PLAY THE CLITAR (аллюзия с ситаром или гитарой)

POKE THE PUCKER

POKE THE PUSSY

POLISH THE PEARL

POLISH THE WEDDING RING

PREHEAT THE OVEN

PUSH THE BUTTON

PUSH THE PETAL

READ BRAILLE

RIDE SLIDESADDLE

RIDE THE CURL

RIDE THE TUBESPOUT

RIDE THE UNICYCLE