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Wife: "No, I can't marry anyone after you."

Johnson: "But I want you to."

Wife: "But why?"

Johnson: "Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!"

But I want you to.

Newly wed wife to her husband (молодая жена своему мужу):

"That is why I can't stand you (вот почему я не могу выносить тебя) - you are so unpredictable (ты такой непредсказуемый; to predict — предсказывать). On Monday you liked the potatoes (в понедельник ты любил картошку), Tuesday (во вторник) you liked the potatoes, Wednesday (в среду) you liked the potatoes, Thursday (в четверг) you said (ты сказал) you loved the potatoes preparation (тебе понравилось приготовление картошки = как она приготовлена), Friday (в пятницу) you liked the potatoes, Saturday (в субботу) you liked the potatoes and now (а сейчас) all of a sudden (вдруг) on Sunday (в воскресенье) you say that you don't like potatoes."

Newly wed wife to her husband:

"That is why I can't stand you — you are so unpredictable. On Monday you liked the potatoes, Tuesday you liked the potatoes, Wednesday you liked the potatoes, Thursday you said you loved the potatoes preparation, Friday you liked the potatoes, Saturday you liked the potatoes and now all of a sudden on Sunday you say that you don't like potatoes."

That is why I can't stand you — you are so unpredictable.

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself (человек в баре видит за столиком приятеля, пьющего в одиночку).

Approaching (подойдя, приблизившись к) the friend he comments (замечает), "You look terrible (ты ужасно выглядишь). What's the problem? (в чем проблема, что случилось)"

"My mother died in August (моя мать умерла в августе)," he said, "and left me (оставила мне) $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough (ого, вот это сурово; taugh — жесткий, плотный, упругий; тяжело)," he replied (ответил).

"Then in September (затем в сентябре)," the friend continued (продолжал), "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months (ух-ты, двое родителей за два месяца). No wonder you're depressed (неудивительно, что ты подавлен)."

"And last month (в прошлом месяце) my aunt (тетя) died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? (три близких члена семьи потеряны за три месяца) How sad (как печально)."

"Then this month (а в этом месяце)," continued the friend, "absolutely nothing! (абсолютно ничего)"

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000."

"Gee, that's tough," he replied.

"Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000."

"Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."

"Then this month," continued the friend, "absolutely nothing!"

You look terrible. What's the problem?

Gee, that's tough!

No wonder you're depressed.