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The carpenter answers (отвечает), "I take a nail out of the bag (я беру гвоздь из ящика), and if it's facing the roof (и если он лицом = острием к крыше), I use it (я его использую); if it's facing away (если в другую сторону: «прочь»), I know it's defective (я знаю, что он бракованный) and throw it away."

The mayor tells him, "You fool! (дурак) Those are for the other side!! (те для другой стороны)"

A carpenter in Chelm is fixing the roof, but as he works, he throws away about half the nails. The mayor is passing by, and asks him why he's wasting so many nails. The carpenter answers, "I take a nail out of the bag, and if it's facing the roof, I use it; if it's facing away, I know it's defective and throw it away."

The mayor tells him, "You fool! Those are for the other side!!"

You fool!

The rabbi of Chelm and one of his students (и один из его учеников) were spending the night (проводили ночь /to spend-spent-spent — тратить, расходовать; проводить /время/) at the inn (в гостинице). The student asked the servant (попросил слугу) to wake him at dawn (разбудить его на заре) because he was to take an early train (так как ему нужно было попасть на ранний поезд). The servant did so (так и сделал). Not wishing (не желая) to wake the rabbi, the student groped in the dark for his clothes (нащупал в темноте свою одежду) and, in his haste (в спешке), he put on (надел) the long rabbinical gabardine (длинный габардин рабби — длиннополый кафтан из грубого сукна). He hurried to the station (поспешил на станцию), and, as he entered the train (когда сел: «вошел» в поезд), he was struck dumb with amazement (онемел от изумления; struck — сражен /to strike-struck-struck/; dumb — немой) as he looked at himself (когда посмотрел на себя) in the compartment mirror (в зеркало купе).

"What an idiot that servant is!" he cried angrily (крикнул сердито). "I asked him to wake me, instead (вместо этого) he went and woke the rabbi! (он пошел и разбудил рабби)"

The rabbi of Chelm and one of his students were spending the night at the inn. The student asked the servant to wake him at dawn because he was to take an early train. The servant did so. Not wishing to wake the rabbi, the student groped in the dark for his clothes and, in his haste, he put on the long rabbinical gabardine. He hurried to the station, and, as he entered the train, he was struck dumb with amazement as he looked at himself in the compartment mirror.

"What an idiot that servant is!" he cried angrily. "I asked him to wake me, instead he went and woke the rabbi!"

I was struck dumb with amazement.

The rabbi was fed up (был пресыщен, ему надоела /to feed-fed-fed — кормить, питать) with his congregation (паства). So, he decided to skip the services (итак, поэтому он решил пропустить богослужения) on Yom Kippur, the holiest day (самый священный день) on the Jewish calendar, and instead go play golf (и вместо этого пойти поиграть в гольф).

Moses (Моисей) was looking down from heaven (смотрел вниз с небес) and saw the rabbi on the golf course (и увидел рабби на гольфовом поле, на гольфовой дорожке /to see-saw-seen/). He naturally (естественно) reported it to God (передал, сообщил это Богу). Moses suggested (предложил) God punish (наказать) the rabbi severely (строго; severely [sɪˈvɪǝlɪ]).