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“You see (понимаете ли), sir,” said Corporal Carrot, “as I understand the law (как я понимаю закон), you are an Accessory After The Fact (соучастник после факта). Or possibly Before The Fact.”

YOUNG MAN, I AM THE FACT (МОЛОДОЙ ЧЕЛОВЕК, Я И ЕСТЬ ФАКТ).

“And I am an officer of the Law (а я — офицер Закона),” said Corporal Carrot. “There’s got to be a law (закон должен быть), you know.”

YOU WANT ME TO (ВЫ ХОТИТЕ, ЧТОБЫ Я)… ER… GRASS SOMEONE UP (ЗАЛОЖИЛ КОГО-НИБУДЬ; grass – информатор)? DROP A DIME ON SOMEONE (НАКАПАЛ НА КОГО-ТО)? SING LIKE A PIGEON (СПЕЛ, КАК ГОЛУБЬ = НАСТУЧАЛ, КАК ДЯТЕЛ)? NO. NO-ONE KILLED MR. SLUMBER (НИКТО НЕ УБИВАЛ МИСТЕРА СЛАМБЕРА). I CAN’T HELP YOU THERE (НЕ МОГУ ВАМ ПОМОЧЬ).

“Oh, I don’t know, sir,” said Carrot, “I think you have (я думаю, вы помогли).”

DAMN (ПРОКЛЯТЬЕ).

Death watched Carrot leave (смерть смотрел, как Моркоу уходит), ducking his head as he went down the narrow stairs of the hovel (наклонив голову, спускаясь по узкой лестнице лачуги).

NOW THEN, WHERE WAS I (О ЧЕМ ЭТО Я)…

“Excuse me,” said the wizened old man in the bed (сказал иссохший старик в постеле). “I happen to be 107 (мне уже 107 лет), you know. I haven’t got all day (у меня нет всего дня = не думаю, что протяну еще один день).”

AH, YES, CORRECT (АХ, ДА, ВЕРНО).

Death sharpened his scythe (заточил свою косу). It was the first time he’d ever helped the police with their enquiries (это было в первый раз, когда он помог полиции с ее делами; enquiry – дело, проблема, вопрос). Still, everyone had a job to do (хотя, у всех есть работа, которую нужно делать).

And on the magical Discworld, there is always one guaranteed witness to any homicide. It’s his job.

Constable Carrot, the Watch’s youngest member, often struck people as simple. And he was. He was incredibly simple, but in the same way that a sword is simple, or an ambush is simple. He was also possibly the most linear thinker in the history of the universe.

He’d been waiting by the bedside of an old man, who’d quite enjoyed the company. And now it was time to take out his notebook.

“Now I know you saw something, sir,” he said. “You were there.”

WELL, YES, said Death. I HAVE TO BE, YOU KNOW. BUT THIS IS VERY IRREGULAR.

“You see, sir,” said Corporal Carrot, “as I understand the law, you are an Accessory After The Fact. Or possibly Before The Fact.”

YOUNG MAN, I AM THE FACT.

“And I am an officer of the Law,” said Corporal Carrot. “There’s got to be a law, you know.”

YOU WANT ME TO… ER… GRASS SOMEONE UP? DROP A DIME ON SOMEONE? SING LIKE A PIGEON? NO. NO-ONE KILLED MR. SLUMBER. I CAN’T HELP YOU THERE.

“Oh, I don’t know, sir,” said Carrot, “I think you have.”

DAMN.

Death watched Carrot leave, ducking his head as he went down the narrow stairs of the hovel.

NOW THEN, WHERE WAS I…

“Excuse me,” said the wizened old man in the bed. “I happen to be 107, you know. I haven’t got all day.”

AH, YES, CORRECT.

Death sharpened his scythe. It was the first time he’d ever helped the police with their enquiries. Still, everyone had a job to do.