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Terry Pratchett

Theater of Cruelty

Театр жестокости

It was a fine summer morning (это было замечательное летнее утро), the kind to make a man happy to be alive (из тех, которые заставляют человека радоваться жизни). And probably the man would have been happier to be alive (и, вероятно, человек был бы еще счастливее, был бы он жив). He was, in fact, dead (он был, фактически, мертв). It would be hard to be deader without special training (трудно быть мертвее, без специальной подготовки).

“Well, now,” said Sergeant Colon (Ankh-Morpork City Guard, Night Watch), consulting his notebook (сверяясь с блокнотом), “so far we have cause of death as (на сегодняшний момент мы имеем следующие причины смерти) a) being beaten with at least one blunt instrument (забит до смерти по крайней мере одним тупым предметом) b) being strangled with a string of sausages (задушен связкой сосисок; string – цепочка, веревка) and c) being savaged by at least two animals with big sharp teeth (покусан по крайней мере двумя животными с большими острыми зубами). What do we do now (что нам делать теперь), Nobby?”

“Arrest the suspect (арестовать подозреваемого), Sarge,” said Corporal Nobbs, saluting smartly (браво отдав честь; smartly – энергично, сильно, резко).

“Suspect, Nobby?”

“Him,” said Nobby, prodding the corpse with his boot (пиная труп своим ботинком). “I call it highly suspicious (я считаю это очень подозрительным), being dead like that (быть мертвым вот так). He’s been drinking, too (он также пил). We could do him for being dead and disorderly (мы могли бы повязать его за смерть и нарушение порядка).”

Colon scratched his head (почесал затылок). Arresting the corpse offered, of course, certain advantages (арест трупа предлагал, конечно, определенные преимущества). But…

“I reckon (я полагаю),” he said slowly (он сказал медленно), “that Captain Vimes’ll want this one sorted out (что капитан Ваймс захочет разрешить это дело) . You’d better bring it back to the Watch House (тебе лучше отнести тело назад в Дом Стражи), Nobby.”

“And then can we eat the sausages (а потом мы можем съесть сосиски), sarge?” said Corporal Nobbs.

It was a fine summer morning, the kind to make a man happy to be alive. And probably the man would have been happier to be alive. He was, in fact, dead. It would be hard to be deader without special training.

“Well, now,” said Sergeant Colon (Ankh-Morpork City Guard, Night Watch), consulting his notebook, “so far we have cause of death as a) being beaten with at least one blunt instrument b) being strangled with a string of sausages and c) being savaged by at least two animals with big sharp teeth. What do we do now, Nobby?”

“Arrest the suspect, Sarge,” said Corporal Nobbs, saluting smartly.

“Suspect, Nobby?”

“Him,” said Nobby, prodding the corpse with his boot. “I call it highly suspicious, being dead like that. He’s been drinking, too. We could do him for being dead and disorderly.”

Colonscratched his head. Arresting the corpse offered, of course, certain advantages. But…