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Harry Turtledove

"Hello, sweetheart!" he cried, hurrying up to kiss her on the cheek. "How much of your money have you wasted this afternoon?"

"None, yet," Krasta answered. "I haven't found anything worth spending it on."

"What a tragedy!" Valnu exclaimed. "In that case, why don't you buy me a mug of ale, and maybe even a bite to eat to go with it?" He waved. They stood in front of an eatery called Classical Cuisine. "Maybe it'll have dormice in honey," he said.

"If they do, I'll get you a big plate of them," Krasta promised. But, since Valnu had made it plain she'd be doing the buying, she held the door open for him instead of the other way round. He took the point, and kissed her on the cheek again as he walked past her into the eatery.

She ordered ale for both of them, and- no dormice appearing on the bill of fare- strips of smoked and salted beef to go with it. "I thank you," Valnu said, and raised his mug in salute.

"It's all right," Krasta said. "It's rather better than all right, in fact."

"Really?" The tip of Valnu's rather sharp pink tongue appeared between his lips for a moment. "What have you got in mind, darling?"

He meant, Do you want to go to bed with me, darling? Krasta did want to, but didn't dare. She had to get in her digs at her Algarvian lover less directly. "I'm going to feed Lurcanio tripe tomorrow night," she answered, "and he'll have to eat it and make as if he likes it."

"You are?" Valnu said. "He will? How did you manage that?"

"I didn't, or not mostly. Lurcanio did it himself, and to himself," Krasta replied. "He's invited Count Amatu to supper again, and Amatu, say what you will about him, eats like a Valmieran. Do you know him?"

"I used to, back before the war. Haven't seen much of him since," Valnu said.

Krasta sighed and gulped down her ale. "I wish I could say the same. He's a bit of a bore these days. More than a bit, if you want to know the truth."

Valnu finished his ale, too. Instead of ordering another round for both of them, as Krasta expected him to, he got up and fluttered his fingers at her. "I'm terribly sorry, my love, but I must dash," he said. "One of my dear friends will beat me to a pulp if he thinks I've stood him up." He shrugged a comic shrug. "What can one do?"

"Pick different friends?" Krasta suggested. Instead of getting angry, Valnu only laughed and slid out of the eatery. Krasta bit down on a strip of smoked meat with quite unnecessary violence.

A waiter came up to her. "Will there be anything else, milady?"

"No," she snarled, and strode out of Classical Cuisine herself.

Not even buying a new hat made her feel better. The hat sported a jaunty peacock feather leaping up from the band- an Algarvian style, although that, perhaps fortunately, didn't occur to her. Her driver hadn't got too drunk to take her back to her mansion. The horse knew the way, whether the driver was sure of it or not.