Читать «Infinite jest» онлайн - страница 24

‘You’re how old, Hal, fourteen?’

Til be eleven in June. Are you a dentist? Is this like a dental consult?’

‘You’re here to converse.’

‘Converse?’

‘Yes. Pardon me while I key in this age-correction. Your father had listed you as fourteen, for some reason.’

‘Converse as in with you?’

‘You’re here to converse with me, Hal, yes. I’m almost going to have to implore you to have a lemon soda. Your mouth is making those dry sticky inadequate-saliva sounds.’

‘Dr. Zegarelli says that’s one reason for all the caries, is that I have low salivary output.’

‘Those dry sticky salivaless sounds which can be death to a good conversation.’

‘But I rode my bike all the way up here against the wind just to converse with you? Is the conversation supposed to start with me asking why?’

Til begin by asking if you know the meaning of implore, Hal.’

‘Probably I’ll go ahead and take a Seven-Up, then, if you’re going to implore.’

Til ask you again whether you know implore, young sir.’

‘Young sir?’

‘You’re wearing that bow tie, after all. Isn’t that rather an invitation to a young sir?’

‘Implore’s a regular verb, transitive: to call upon, or for, in supplication; to pray to, or for, earnestly; to beseech; to entreat. Weak synonym: urge. Strong synonym: beg. Etymology unmixed: from Latin implorare, im meaning in, plorare meaning in this context to cry aloud. O.E.D. Condensed Volume Six page 1387 column twelve and a little bit of thirteen.’

‘Good lord she didn’t exaggerate did she?’

‘I tend to get beat up, sometimes, at the Academy, for stuff like that. Does this bear on why I’m here? That I’m a continentally ranked junior tennis player who can also recite great chunks of the dictionary, verbatim, at will, and tends to get beat up, and wears a bow tie? Are you like a specialist for gifted kids? Does this mean they think I’m gifted?’